Turn Off Your Mind For Awhile

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
- "The Freshmen", Verve Pipe

This song has seeped into my veins, and somehow I can't stop listening to it. There's something so wistfully poignant about wasted youth isn't there. Not that I think I led a wasted youth, but I guess I'm just being emo-nemo now maybe. And um it makes me think of freshman year.

Some three years in SMU it has been. Time of my life indeed.

My nose is a mucus tap, and I've been sneezing in horrific frequencies. It sucks to be sick and overseas.

Amsterdam update : Marc is frolicking around in Heineken brewery with the SMU peeps - Yang, Crystal, Mudit and XT. SO FUN. :) I'm glad you're having a blast darling, really I am. Even though I'd rather you be here taking care of me. Haha. No lah. I'd rather you be having fun.
(so selfless hor me)

I had one disturbing dream this morning. Boy oh boy was it funny to wake up and think, "Damn I dreamt of that again!" How the hell... I guess such questions just can't be answered.

I think the Cirrus flu pill I took is kicking in. I'm beginning to feel a blissful kind of numb all over. Mmmm. A drug-induced high of a different kind. :)

I have one essay to write, and 2 presentations to prepare before I leave for London on Friday morning. Gah someone murder me please.

Someone Who Needs Somewhere To Long For

It's hard not to feel blue when you're sick, and well I've been feeling that way today. Was telling Neil that I've been laying in bed wallowing in self-pity, at being flu-ey and alone here in cold cold England, with no one to take care of me. Doesn't help matters that boyfriend is frolicking in Brussels, getting high on mussels while all this is happenin'. But then Neil reminded me that "well i guess you have to realise there's no cause and effect... he's not having fun cos you're sick...haha" And well the dude's right. He's my dose of logical when I need it, that Neillypoo!

Heh. Yibs just took off for London today! We came to the momentous realization that daylight savings has kicked in when we were walking her out to the bus station, and that we were in effect an hour early. Walked back home (okay lah, just from the front gate and back) sheepishly, admonishing the presence of such a system.

It's just like how McDonald's delivers in Singapore, but there's no such thing here, or how they don't understand that not all Asians have straight black hair; things are just different here.

(Can anyone smell homesickness?)

I think it's because I'm sick. Urgh.

By the way Yibs, it was lovely having you around. :) Looking forward to London next weekend!

"I Was Born in Dusseldorf, That is Why They Call Me Rolf!"

So yes friends and family, here is a peek preview of the Rhine Valley photos. Marc has yet to send me everything that we took (mostly in his camera, and also he has my memory card), so here're a choice few for your viewing pleshuhh.

To explain things a little, we stayed 2 nights in the cute little town of St. Goar, which is midway between the scenic Rhine route of Mainz to Koblenz. On our first day, we lazily explored Burg Rheinfels at St. Goar itself, and on the second day we took the river cruise up to Braubach (which is pronounced Brow-bagggcchhhh super gutteral sound required) where we saw Marksburg, and then went down to Bacharach (once again it's Bah-ka-ragggchhh) which had a super pretty-slash-cool-slash creepy 13th century church ruin.

By the way, Burg = Castle, if you haven't so figured out.

The Rhine Valley itself is a super duper scenic route, and it is a route we shared with plenty of genial German old folks, middle aged Japanese tour groups, and well, not a lot else. Still, it was nice having a different mix of travelers from the usual backpacker crowd, which I am beginning to grow very sick of. Even the hostel we stayed in at St. Goar was full of families! That was a first for me. But nonetheless most people we met in that part of Germany were rather nice indeed.

Marcus says "Auf Wiedersehen!" but has no idea what that means. At the Koln-Dusseldorfer boat dock at St. Goar.This is the small town of St. Goar. All the towns along the Mainz-Koblenz route are bite-sized, quaint, and tourist-driven (sadly). But nonetheless very charming. And the huge looming cliffs framing the towns added much romanticism to them.Here lies Burg Rheinfels, the biggest castle along the Rhine Valley. Our hostel was right below the castle, so that was pretty cool. The castle has since been partly converted into a hotel, and a restaurant. Rick Steves' guide took us right through the castle nicely.It was my first castle visit, and I absolutely loved it. My hair stood on ends at times, but it was part and parcel of the experience I guess, to get spooked out by castles.Me sitting precariously on the edge of the battery of Burg Rheinfels. Behind me is the beautiful river against the dramatic cliffs. I like this photo :)Marc threatening to fall through the cracks (though actually that is a crossbow slit - you know, to shoot arrows through, for castle defence) On the second day, we cruised... and past this cute town of Boppard. The bells were tolling at the church, and the sun had just shone its brilliance through the previously grey clouds when we berthed here for a while, and it was just really nice.The cliffs that you see in the photo are covered in wineyards - apparently the slate of the cliffs keeps the berries nice and warm at night because slate retains heat better. This gives you sweeter grapes. And if you get wine from a wineyard that is on steeper areas, it tastes better. This is Marksburg castle, the only castle on the Rhine which was never ever attacked. Not even one person tried - because it was too well-protected and well-equipped with state-of-the-art cannons and all that. It's really pretty. But too bad we didn't get to stay up there very long - we had a boat to catch back down to Bacharach.

Us two, tired but happy from the climb up to Marksburg (from which my knee is still suffering).

This trip to the Rhine Valley will always have a special place in my heart. It's just one of those trips, y'know? Which sort of captured your heart, and the company you were with just made it absolutely perfect. Marc and I had a beautiful time up there, one we won't forget anytime soon.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But...

So Yibsy is in Bath with me today (say hello Yibsy!!!), and we - me, her, Mon, Yang, Lucas and Isa - decided to venture forth to visit Stonehenge in Salisbury. We took a tour van with Scarper Tours, and paid around 12 GBP for the tour and 4.40 GBP for entrance fee to the Stonehenge itself. Overall I'd say it was a worthwhile trip, because while Stonehenge did not make me want to get down on my knees and drop my jaw in awe, it was still something I had wanted to do since like forever, and it was special to have experienced it with every one of them. So. :) Pictures follow!

Stonehenge as we approached it - kind of dark and grey against the same-colored sky


Everyone was snap-happy despite the dreary weather

We had audioguides which explained the history of Stonehenge, but I was so cold I was half-listening and half-shivering all the time.Closer-up, the stones were maybe about one-and-a-half storeys high, and were very worn down. This Stonehenge we see is only half of the original structure that remains.
All around Stonehenge is grassland. Wide open grassland. In 1996 a crop circle was discovered in the field adjacent to Stonehenge (in the direction I'm looking toward), and was never explained. Coooool huhhh
Eh apparently Merlin and King Dunnowhatshisname are buried here, according to popular myth. Yibs looks pleased to know that.
Us twins :) It was special to be at Stonehenge together, yes it was.Mon and Lucas, who is a 3rd Year BBA student at Bath - we met him through my sis, who has many mutual friends with him. Funny guy, that dude. Yang and Isa - I thought this photo was quite funny because they are both posing and trying to look all masculine and shit here.And finally, a picture of the happy two. :)

Too bad I'm falling sick, thanks to the chill I caught at Stonehenge + waking up at 8am + sleeping at 3am + my weak knee. Boooh. Someone bless these knees! May they not fail me. And my nose, too. Jeez.

What The Tarots Say

Hokay last straw. The weather is preventing me from going to Sainsbury's, a 5 minute walk away. So I really do have to eat instant noodles for lunch, and that saddens me. :( :( :( Well yes I do love instant noodles, but I really wanted to whip up something healthier - like cappelletti (which are mini tortellonis) in olive oil, with salad, or bak kut teh or something. My body feels this dire lack of fibre and vitamins and I sort of feel stuffed full of trash, thanks to all the instant noodles I consumed in the past week.

Ooh yesterday night I decided to boil some eggs and make egg mayo! And I did, and it tasted pretty good, except it was a little too salty. I feel so adventurous - trying all these things I'd never dream to do at home! Lol. :P But now at least I know, after coming on exchange, that I can take care of myself in a strange foreign land, travel on my own without getting in too much danger, and make egg mayo sandwiches at request! I'm self-sufficient now. Hah!

By the way, the Rhine Valley or John Mayer photos aren't up yet because they're all with Marc - he has my memory card as well - so it'll have to wait till he passes them to me. I want to see them too! Bah.

To you - i'm glad. for me and for you. no grudges, someday we'll sit across each other at a cafe and just talk like true friends. :)

Dave, when I told him that I'm going to Stonehenge this weekend (I love you, Dave! You're hilarious :) ) :


Awwwwww. I have a rap now!

In Over My Head.

It's the first-few-days blues, when I miss you the most. And inside me there's this little nugget of sadness that just won't go away, because you are not with me.

Today I spent the day doing domestic stuff - cooking, drying my clothes, and sleeping. I'm leaving my essay for tomorrow, and the essay-writing-phobia must be conquered, yes sirree!

They're going for a party in school. Should I go? I'm bored. And I'm restless, sitting here. But I'm also feeling groggy and sluggish.

Acquisitions.

mustard-yellow flats, and john mayer tickets.

:)

Now I'm addicted to flats - and I want a pair in every color, especially black ballet-style ones.

Let no one stop me! Raarrh.

Small-Town Kitsch

I kinda liked being away.

Now that I'm back, it seems that everyone has gone on with life and I'm sort of back where I've started. Yeah, I know it's just been a few days.

AAAAH. The bliss of holidays - they stop time, and you're in your own world for a while.

Aaaanyway. Tonight is the John Mayer concert, and I reallyreally can't wait :) It'll be the last time I'm seeing Marc for a good two weeks too. But oh well. Treasure it I will.

I will definitely blog about Frankfurt when I get back to Bath, but I don't think I have the camera cable here (searches Yi's table). Yeah. So I will have to upload pics when I'm home then.

Dinner : Chu Qian Yi Ding Tonkatsu flavor noodles
Brunch : Indomie

YUM YUM :) Hee.

A Rock Lifted From My Brow

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Back to one day weeks! Oosh. :)

From Silvana Stanford, who is Academic Exchanges Coordinator for Bath Uni:

"Dear Zhirong,

In the light of Sudha's reply we have agreed to let you take only the threecourses.

Best wishes
Silvana"

Treasure Trove.

I sit here at 1.38am in the morning, listening to Kings of Convenience hum tranquilly through my headphones, while also listening to the rain pitter and patter outside my window. I can feel a slight chill through the curtains, emanating from the window pane, even though it is fully shut.

I wonder what you are doing now. If you know that I have a bus to catch, at 4.30am, downtown. But you are not online.

I wonder how I am going to walk there in the rain, but somehow I will just have to cope. Perhaps make use of my poncho then. I'm not sure I can hold on to an umbrella and drag a suitcase down the cold streets, while the wind threatens to flip my umbrella inside-out, just like one of those can-can skirts.

Good thing I am too full to sleep (in fact I feel bloated), or else I think I'd really be feeling the tiredness now. And I did take a 2 hour-ish nap around 10pm, so I'm not too groggy.

I'm glad I just discovered the KOC Ren put into my laptop for me. Heh. Thanks Ren. It'll be my companion on my way to Frankfurt I'm sure.

I lose some sales and my boss won't be happy
But I can't stop listening to the sound

Of two soft voices, blended in perfection
From the reels of this record that I found
- "Homesick", Kings of Convenience

Remember KOC singing this song in the pitch dark, during their concert in March? Awesome.

Set The Fire to the Third Bar

I just finished talking to C online, and it was lovely. love the way she totally gets what I mean when I say something, because we're so similar in the way we feel things. Such a pillar of support. So here's to you, babe. ;)

It was a very rainy dreary day today, but I still went out to run a couple of errands. First, I picked up my train tickets for Thursday's trip to Frankfurt at the Bath train station, and then I went to trawl the various telecomm network shops to check out prices for a roaming Pay-as-you-go SIM. It was mind-boggling, complicated, and ultimately very expensive. In the end I settled for an Orange card, which gave me the best deal and the least complications. Orange rawks!

Lucas, Yi's friend, ran into me at the O2 shop (another mobile network), and we subsequently spent some time hanging out and running from phone store to phone store. Heh. He was fun to talk to, and rather entertaining company. And he so graciously paid for my sandwich and tea at Pret A Manger, because of the dinner we cooked for him. :) Awwwww. A really nice fella - and not just because he paid. Heh.

I so absolutely dig the Crayfish and Rocket sandwich at Pret... and the Lemon Cake. Yumyumyum :) Oh, and I inserted the link to Pret so you guys can check it out if you're absolutely bored; I hope that answers the questions I've been getting about what Brit food I've been eating. Pret's the answer!

Sometimes you just need the time alone. To my own surprise, I find myself happy alone sometimes, just walking about town doing things. It's like, you feel a peace inside, from just being yourself. So it's cool.

You know something? When I was in English Lit class yesterday, I just suddenly thought to myself while I was sitting there, if Heaven is anything like what Alice Sebold said it is in her book, The Lovely Bones (where you create your own space in heaven, and you can have anything or anyone you wish there, the setting of your heaven is wherever you desire to settle down - it can be your childhood home, or an amusement park for example), then my heaven would almost definitely contain an English Lit class, where I'll spend my time studying all the wonderful complicated beautiful poetry in this world. Yeah. Haha.

I just heart poetry.

Weird thought, I know. But there you go.

Putting It On The Back Burner

I miss my way of life back home. Days spent lazing at Marc's house, driving around Singapore (okay, being driven around), going to familiar hang-out places with friends, having supper almost whenever I wished, dressing up and wearing whatever I pleased ... I miss the rhythm I had to my days.

Don't get me wrong, I do like being here in Bath. It's nice having my own room to myself all the time - no need to deal with parentals, and it is refreshing to learn more about foreign cultures and ways of life from the other exchange students we are getting to know. And I know the minute I go back home, I will complain about the humid tropical weather as if I never missed it before.

I'm going to play poker with Jerome, Quentin and other exchange students in a bit :) I hope there're enough hands, and I hope I win!

My heart twists when I think about your hugs and your warmth. The comfort you gave me. I really miss it now.

It seems clarity always comes when I'm further away, observing. When I get caught up in my emotions, I'm lost, I'm carried away. When will I learn...?

Biding my time, but not removing the tension.

BITCHING ALERT ! BITCHING ALERT !

I hate bureaucracy. Stupid rules are tripping me up! I want to strangle someone, preferably those people who placed me in this predicament, but instead I have to contain all this frustration and pretend it's okay. I hate this.

Food is my only comfort. Tonight we're cooking again - black pepper beef and broccoli! Mmm.

I hope it totally pisses off Shari, who is our All-American neighbor. She shares the same kitchen with us, and has more than on one occasion proved herself to be The Obnoxious Loud American. One time, when I invited Yi's friend over for dinner (he's studying at Bath too), she started slamming chairs around the kitchen, and giving us attitude.

Me : "Shari, do you need this pot?" (holding on to used pot filled with water)

Shari : "No, I don't care! I just want the stove." (snarky tone)

Me : "...." (ignores the first time; maybe she doesn't mean it that way. You know, like, how the French say "I don't care" but they don't mean it rudely)

Next incident.

Lucas comes in, I introduce him to Coralie (who's in the kitchen as well) and Shari, and Shari barely says hi to him. Not a very nice welcome for him, especially since it's the first time he's meeting me and Mon and Yang, and I could tell he felt very out of place at first. Then, Shari starts to pull out more chairs very loudly, seeing that we have more people than before. She's literally slamming the chairs around. We're all a little startled at the noise.

Mon : "Shari, do you need more space?" (starts moving our chairs to one side of the table)

Shari : "No, I don't care! I just want a CHAIR." (doubly snarky) Looks over at Lucas and says, "Oh you'll get used to me. I'm American." (smiles forcedly)

Lucas of course just plays this off and doesn't think much of it, but I'm super pissed she's treating my new guest like this and giving all of us attitude while he's there. Seriously. What the fuck, biatch.

Just yesterday night, S was in the kitchen alone with me, and both of us were preparing our dinners. So I just asked her chirpily, "So what are you making?" to which her brilliantly icy reply was, "Tuna".

She seriously just said, tuna. That stumped me totally, because... um. Hello dood, how do you make tuna? Especially when you are holding on to an um, tuna can? Is she being a bimbo, or just being rude? Either way.

The funny thing is, she's so fugly that she really doesn't have very much to be obnoxious about. And I'm honest about the fugly bit. :)

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down

The time for sleep is now
There's nothing to cry about
'Cos we'll hold each other soon
- "I Will Follow You Into The Dark", Death Cab for Cutie

Longverse.

This week's Contemporary Lit homework (which I am pathetically rushing the night before class) is really tickling my funny bone. Here're three poems I love, take a read-through and tell me what you think :

"This Be The Verse" by Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don't have any kids yourself.

"Bloody Men" by Wendy Cope

Bloody men are like bloody buses -

You wait for about a year

And as soon as one approaches your stop

Two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,

Offering you a ride.

You're trying to read the destinations,

You haven't much time to decide.

If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.

Jump off, and you'll stand there and gaze

While the cars and the taxis and the lorries go by

And the minutes, the hours, the days.

"Let Me Die a Youngman's Death" by Roger McGough

Let me die a youngman's death

not a clean and inbetween

the sheets holywater death

not a famous-last-words

peaceful out of breah death

When I'm 73

and in constant good tumour

may I be mown down at dawn

by a bright red sport car

on my way home

from an allnight party

Or when I'm 91

with silver hair

and sitting in a barber's chair

may rival gangsters

with hamfisted tommyguns burst in

and give me a short back and insides

Or when I'm 104

and banned from the Cavern

may my mistress

catching me in bed with her daughter

and fearing for her son

cut me up into little pieces

and throw away every piece but one

Let me die a youngman's death

not a free from sin tiptoe in

candle wax and waning death

not a curtains drawn by angels borne

'what a nice way to go' death

I particularly love the last one. It's just so funny!

And now I will throw in some Snow Patrol for good measure, because I just love this part of the song... So heartbreakingly poignant and proud and sad. I do see a little bit of myself in this song. (No, there is no hidden meaning here :) )

You could be happy, I hope you are

You made me happier than I been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you

And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things you always wanted to

Without me there to hold me back,

Don't think just do

-"You Could Be Happy", Snow Patrol

As Promised.

Bernal, Leila and Mon posing kawaii style. Bernal's really sporting and funny, and Leila is the sweetest girl. They're both from France, but Bernal is actually Guatemalan - a diplomat's son who has lived in many countries, and Leila is a Morroccan!
Candido moment.
Out the cameras come, one by one!
Me and Anders, who was very interested in the way of life in Singapore.
Henrik and Jerome, who was behaving like a true "French Gentleman" that night.

(Well, the thing is, French men just aren't gentlemanly.)

Two HAWT NORWEGIANS. 'Nuff said.

Death Cab Glory.

Love of mine, someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light, or tunnels and gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the 'nos' on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
- "I Will Follow You Into The Dark", Death Cab For Cutie

I love this song! It's so pure. It really reminds me as the song Frankenstein would sing to Elizabeth, in the novel. Haha.

I just woke up 10 minutes ago. I've been having vivid dreams about riding in a speedboat from the South African coast up to London. Maps, directions and diagrams float around in my head. It was quite a dream, yes.

Tried uploading photos from last night here, but it appears that blogger is not cooperating with me. Pah.

Die lah, today got a lot of work to do. Must finish reading Strat Entrepreneurship text's 4 chapters, then do Lit analysis, then start on my Contemporary Lit essay. Oh dear.

Hockey Pucks and Broken Hearts.

Today Monnycat and I are going to watch Jerome's hockey game, which he so (ahem) graciously invited us to. It will be my first foreign hockey game, so I'm sure it will be interesting. Well, the last time I watched was back in JC to support our VJC hockey team. I wonder how different it'll be this time round. Hmmm.

Toting my camera along, and if I get a good view/remember to, I will take photos. It's held in our school's Sports Training Village, which apparently has Olympic-standard sports training facilities, so... we'll see. :)

After the game, we're supposed to chillax somewhere and read our texts in the sunlight - hopefully the weather cooperates and stays relatively warm.

Just posting this up because I think it's a nice photo in which the three of us are all smiling happily - taken next to the Tiber River in Rome.

Sounding Hopeful, But It's Makin' Me Cry

Yang has gone skydiving for the weekend! So fun :) I wish I could've gone too.

Instead, Mon and I went to town to pick up some stuff from Boots and Sainsbury's Local. I don't know why but I felt lightheaded and dizzy during my walk down. It was kind of freaky.

The weather these days have been warmer, that's for sure. I actually walked around with a tank top and sweater, and even then I felt a bit warm! I wonder if the cold will suddenly hit us again, just as suddenly as it had left. Heh. I hope this warm weather lastssss! I don't look forward to the frigid cold.

Teehee Neil and Lyd and the whole bunch of them are celebrating Lyd's birthday at Neil's house. And they just MSNed me with a voice message. So even though I'm not there, I still close to them :) Awwww. I loves my friends. :)

Happy Bawfday Lydkins. I loves you and you knows it!!! :D

Happy birfday to yoo, happy birfday to yoo, happy birfday to Lyddear, happy birfday to yoo!

Spanish Partay Part Deux

La Spanish Partay.

So yesterday night I decided to alleviate myself from hermit-dom and tortured thoughts, and descend upon the weekly Spanish Party at O'Neill's pub in town.

Mon and I prettied up, and were about to head out the door, when we passed one of the dudes' rooms next to the building car park. They were having a pre-party drink and smoke, and we asked them if they were headed to the Spanish party. They invited us in for drinks, and so we went. There was S, a French Indian dude who's really tall and big; A, a skinny witty Russian guy living in Germany; E, a pudgy teddy-bear looking dude from Ecuador; F, who honestly looks like a blonde version of Mr. Big a la SATC; and I, a quiet bookish type from I-forgot-where.

After twenty minutes of idling around chatting, we finally left for the party. E and A went with us; the rest were staying in. Along the walk to O'Neill's, I learnt how to curse in Russian and Spanish, but I don't think I can remember it now if you ask me to say it. Hehe.

O'Neill's has two levels - the first floor is the usual English pub-type atmosphere - sort of rustically decorated, with low ceilings and woody furniture. The second floor is where the party was. It sort of reminded me a little of Gotham Penthouse back home, because it was a small space with split levels. The music generally was Spanish pop, and once in a while we'd get lucky and get some R&B songs. From what I could tell, the crowd was very collegiate, and there was hardly anyone older than 25 (but more on that later).

Mon got her Baileys on the rocks, and well I didn't drink anything to play safe. Heh heh. E tried to teach me how to move the Spanish way, but he only got as far as teaching me how to twirl. We slowly split from him and graduated to the French and Italian exchange students, who stay in Thornbank Gardens too.

J, a very tall French guy with a very sharp tongue who Mon says reminds her of Mike Teevee (Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), spent a good portion of the time flirting with Mon, and trying to untie the ribbon behind my corset-ish top. He managed to unravel the ribbon, causing loose string to sprout endlessly - BAH! I'll have to do something about that.

During the course of the night, Mon and I got accosted by two sets of equally slimey looking Spanish men. They were all :

1) not within the under-25 age group
2) short
3) bespectacled and/or unshaven
4) wearing short-sleeved shirts in attempt to look young
5) shifty-eyed

One of them really freaked me out by the way he was staring. Jeez. These old men trying to score some "exotic Asian flesh". They tried to charm us out of our boots/sneakers by guessing our nationality, and eliciting "Ni hao" and "Sayonara" interchangeably. UGH. Haha. It was amusing, but rather freaky too.

(And Joycey - no I'm not sian of it yet. Haha)

J wanted to go home around 1.30am, and us girls decided it was time to quit the party too. There is only so much shuffling to music you don't understand one can do. And so the whole troop of guys - French, Italian, one tipsy German - trudged home in the cold. The walk home was... interesting. :) I told Mon when we were walking along Thornbank Place, we wouldn't forget tonight. This - walking home with 7 singing and shouting Europeans we barely knew - was something we won't forget. Heh.

It was a good night.

Remember New York In The Winter

I was looking through photos of New York, albums compiled by Zal, Hsinj etc., that we shared with one another when the trip ended. I remember we did it at Coffee Bean in Holland Village one night, I think it was a few days after returning to Sg.

At the end of my own album, I found this little write-up I did on the 28th of December :

"People ask me how was New York? And I feel compelled to summarise the entire BSM experience into one word. But how is it possible to put together Guggenheim Russian exhibitions, clattering subway rides, streets full of shops, hot dogs with sauerkraut, the thick New York accents, flashing lights of Times Square, together into one adjective?"

I'm getting nostalgic. My heart is beating hard in my chest.

I miss them all.



Some days, it seems it is just so hard to reach you. It seems everything is in my way. How is it possible for me not to feel anguished? When I wait hours just to pour my heart out.

I was talking to a very dear friend of mine that day on MSN, and we were just agreeing with each other how emo we were. One thing that was refreshing to me was, he told me he liked living that way. Well, I have for the longest time struggled with how I didn't want to live like this. Going on a huge emotional rollercoaster. But I guess I have to stop and question myself, if that is truly the way I am. And how if that is how I am, I should simply accept it. Because I know for sure there is no stopping my emotions. I can handle them differently, yes, but there's no way I can stop them from happening.

Excuse me while I feel reflective.

All these unanswered phone calls.

Shhhhh.

Today I feel like shelling up. The disturbing dream this morning didn't help.

But Yang managed to tempt me to visit Sainsbury's with him, so we went. At Sainsbury's you will always buy more than you intended to. And true enough, I found cheap chocolates and bought 2 4-bar packs for cheap. They're good for when I have a full day of class (well, that's only Mondays) and need a snack in between classes. I also managed to buy shower gel that I don't need yet - 2 for 1.79GBP. That's CHEAP. Heh. I'd better use more shower gel each time I bathe then.

You can't know, oh no
You can't know how much I think about you, no
It's making my head spin

Looking at you and you are looking at me
And we both know what we want
So close to givin' in

Feel so nice, oh yeah you feel so nice
Wish I could spend the night but
I can't pay the price
Oh no, no

But I'm flying so high, high off the ground
When you're around
And I can feel you're high rockin' me inside
It's too much to hide

I know, oh yes
I know that we can't be together
But I just like to dream

It's so strange how our paths have crossed
How we were brought together
It's written in the stars, it seems

Feels so nice, oh yeah you feel so nice
I'd love to spend the night
But I can't pay the price
Oh no, no

And I'm flying so high, high off the ground
When you're around
And I can feel you're high touchin' me inside
And it's too much to hide
- "Flying High", Jem

Zal sent me this lovely song by Jem. Not Jem Loy, but Jem-Jem. I've been listening to it a lot. Though Zal I'm sure you listen to it more than I do! Hehe. It's an awfully poignant song though isn't it.

Possessions.

A kick-ass postcard of Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette I picked up outside the school Union shop. I want to watch the movie, and hear her say that famous line "Let them eat cake!"Teehee.
A little post-it note to remind me of what I should be doing.
The Topshop Post-Fire Sale - 40% storewide - Results. A pair of black drainpipes (reduced to 24 GBP from 40 GBP! That's S$72 from S$120), a mustard yellow necklace (5 GBP from 8), and a cute wool beret (7 GBP from 12) to protect my ears when winter descends.
Instant meeeee. My secret stash in my wardrobe. Yeah, my wardrobe doesn't contain clothes but it contains my food. Reason being, the wardrobe is so narrow it wouldn't be able to fit all my clothes in anyway, so it's all sitting in my luggages on the floor.
Marc's gift to me when we were at the Shakespeare's Globe theatre gift shop - a miniature Romeo and Juliet play! Weehee. I love it :)

Ohmagawwwdddddd

Ohmaagaaaawwwddddd. (gapes)

I just did my accounts, and it says that my exchange up till present has cost me a sweet S$10k. That includes of course the hefty cost of my hostel in Bath (S$4700), and the airticket back home and here (S$1400), and my travel expenses past and future.

My heart is heavy with debt. Ohmaagawwwd. That means that aside from living expenses, I can't spend any more. No more shopping. No more outward travel (than those already booked). That means I have to pass up on Amsterdams and Brussels with M :(

I am blogging now because it is free. It is possibly my only leisurely pursuit that doesn't cost money.

(Sits in a corner and cries)

I feel so guilty. Like, here I am having fun and spending so much money.

But the truth is, I have not been outrageously spending on things I don't need. I daresay that a good 90% of expenditure is on necessities. Of course there is the shopping that comes with traveling. That's the last 10%. But it's really not like I'm eating 10-pound meals every day and taking 20-pound taxis every week or something.

Thus is the conundrum. A part of me says, well it's justified. You haven't been spending frivolously, you are prepared to foot the costs of any external travel on your own (if my mum doesn't oppose - and she does, which I don't get), and you are here to enjoy the experience.

But then there's the other part that says, this is your parents' hard-earned money. And there they are in Singapore living day to day, while you're going to Frankfurt next weekend to see some castle and river. How absolutely decadent! And then that part of me starts making me feel sooo guilty for all this expenditure.

Boo. I don't know. This sucks.

I wish money grew on trees. Or in my room.

And This Blank Page Where My Fingers Move.

So today we had classes again. Mon and me have this crazy Monday, where aside from a one-hour break between 10 and 11am, we have a full day of class from 9.15 to 4.15. Well I'm thankful that classes are relatively short by SMU standards - lectures are at most 2 hours long, and seminars an hour. However that also means you have to shuffle your brain back and forth throughout the day as your subjects jump around haphazardly over the timetable.

Mon and I had brunch at a cafe in school called Munchies (hur hur cheesy name), and there I was served by a rude little obnoxious tea lady. She was manning the till, and I'd ordered a hot tea along with my food. Now, a cup of hot tea costs 0.50p (S$1.50). After paying and collecting my receipt, it read "Hot chocolate - 0.65p". So I told her that she'd charged me for a hot chocolate when I'd asked for a hot tea.

Her reply? "I'm absolutely certain you said hot chocolate." smirk on face.

Me : "No, I'm pretty sure I said hot tea. (and for sure I did)" I'm smiling a little, unsure of whether to be nice or mean.

She then retorts self-righteously, "Well you should just say tea, not hot tea. The tea here is always hot."

I am stunned into silence, then say a chirpy "Whatever!" before turning on my heels. Now I wished I had also told her rather smartly that I believe ice tea does exist, unless she's never drank it before in her sad little Cockney existence. And that she should dig her ears better too.

She left me indignant but well I tell myself, look, these people will forever be the sales assistants, waitresses, cashiers they are. And I'm far luckier than them as it is, so why bother.

But anyway.

Enough of rude cashiers. The main aim of today was to go shopping at Topshop after class. You see, the Topshop in Bath - the only outlet here - appears to have been on fire a couple of days ago, and today they were having a 40% storewide clearance on the 'damaged' merchandise. :) And yes, I am serious when I said they caught fire. Well the storefront looks fine, but the police and fire department et cetera were down here and closed up the store for a good few days, so it really did seem to have been in a bit of a burn.

The British honestly love setting fire to themselves. The fire alarm in one of the school blocks was ringing today as well, and just a couple of days ago we had a fire drill in our hostel. And... everything is fire-safe here in our hostel especially. The windows are hinged shut at the bottom, and will only open a little (I don't understand why though, then how does smoke escape?), the doors all bear a "Fire door - keep shut" sticker, and fire regulations govern everything from the type of rice cooker you can have to the type of duvet you can sleep with.

BAH it's just ridiculous. I think this fire obsession has its roots in the Great London Fire back in the 1900s, and since then they've been absolutely freaked about it. But yet they still somehow always catch fire. Perhaps they are all more flammable? Is it all that Yorkshire pudding they eat? ...

Okay where was I, oh yes back to Topshop. Well we rushed down after class, and arrived a little past 5. But Topshop was closing its doors earlier than usual because the queue for the cashiers was already so long that it took an hour and a half to get to the front. Me and Mon could only stand outside, staring forlornly at the coats we could not touch, jeans we could not try on, bags we could not sling - until tomorrow, that is.

So I did the next best thing - I went to Marks and Spencer and bought two syrup sponge puddings for 1.99GBP. :D

Yep, so that's my day so far. Very pedestrian, but that's it.


I wonder how you are, what you are doing, where you are. Well, I don't need to know the answer, but I truly hope you are well.

All The World's A Stage...

Outside the Globe theatre. I like that I look so happy in this photo :) We'd just met an hour before, after two weeks' absence.

The interior of the Globe. I was sooo excited to be in there, like, finally! The stage is quite ornate and nice. Everything seems to be made of wood. We got standing tickets that cost 5 GBP, a pretty good deal.

The sun was out (and the rain had taken a backseat) when we first entered the Globe. This nice lull quickly proved false, because for the entire duration of the first act it was either drizzling or pouring. We of course got wet and very very cold.

See Marc's nice white A/X sweater? It became stained brown at the back because of the wet wooden panels he was leaning on, while trying to shield both of us from the rain. :( Boo. Anyways we were too frozen and tired, and pulled out during intermission for some Starbucks - hot vanilla latte and ginger snaps! Yum. :) When the weather cleared, and we were sufficiently thawed, we started walking.

Marc posing with the Millenium Bridge, just outside the Globe Theatre and Tate Modern. The sun was finally out! Btw he's wearing his pride and joy - Oktoberfest tee shirt.

The following day, we went down to Bristol where he got an unexpected bumper crop of stuff - his poker chip set for cheap, and a pair of superfly Topman shoes. Look how pleased he is.

Chocolate Fudge, Roman Baths and Sad Goodbyes

The foursome in Bath

Lolling by the waters

Me and Marc
So we did it. Visiting the Roman Baths was important for us four studying here - and more so for Isa who's doing a project on it for his class - because we got to learn about the historical significance the thermal hot springs carried, and how the place Bath got its name.

The museum bit of it got a tad too draggy though, with exhibits of even the smallest stone figures and pewter curses. Okay, the curses bit was interesting, because it appears back in the early ADs, the Romans threw curses inscribed on small pewter or lead sheets into the spring, as a seeking of the goddess Minerva's divine intervention. Minerva is the goddess of the spring, and the hot spring itself was a sacred place. So these archaeologists unearthed these curses :

and translated them from Latin. The funny thing is these curses were often set against thieves of stolen items, and were therefore petty and trivial to some extent. (You didn't really find any that said, "Curse he who slept with my sister and then with my wife" or anything like that) So that was kind of cute.

The hot spring that feeds the baths still bring water to the surface every day, and the temperature is a nice warm 80 degrees (if I did not remember wrongly). I touched the water (but only barely because I was terrified of falling in), and it didn't feel all that hot, but kind of nice and cosy for an autumn afternoon.

Clinging on for dear life to my possessions

Of course, Marc being Marc, decided to dip his thumb, index and middle finger, so that he will have plenty of mahjong luck. Looking pleased with himself, he then decided to climb on the tombstone we had been sitting on for a nice photo moment.

Ahuh, okay, darling.

Oh! And right outside the Baths we discovered they were filming the movie "Persuasion", based on Jane Austen's famous novel.

However, try as we might to crane our necks, we couldn't spot any Keira Knightley! :( It seems it was merely an extras shoot. But what a shoot it was - the props and set looked so real. There were horses and carriages too, and well Bath's cobblestoned streets looked extremely authentic of course.

A pity you can't see the cameraman's face clearly, he was kind of cute methinks. Teehee.

Aside from visiting the Baths and seeing a true-blue film set on the streets, we also :

1) had chocolate fudge at this charming fudge store - my virgin experience!

2) visited Bath Abbey, which is really pure-looking and beautiful inside, though the tombstones that cover the floor did freak me out some

3) had dinner at Sally Lunn's, a restaurant in the oldest building in Bath dating back to the 11th century or somethin', and tried the apparently world famous "Sally Lunn bun", which is really a form of brioche

4) caught a play at the Theatre Royal for five pounds - we got cheap seats but were able to move forward in the end. It was a lovely play called Amy's View. Really poignant and powerful. Easy to follow, too

5) celebrated Mon's 21st birthday amongst this all - she's a beeg girl now, yes she is

I hope you had a good time, Monnycat. Happy happy birthday, may your wishes all come true. :) And hope you will keep wearing the dress I bought you! Hehe.

Marc left for Paris this morning. I walked him to the bus station (or more like ran, since we were almost late), and then hugged him and kissed him goodbye. I couldn't bear to wait for the bus to pull out of the station because my heart was already aching, so I waved a silent goodbye and gestured that I was going before the tears started. The walk back to my hostel was lonely.

But there's no denying it was a lovely week together, absolutely lovely. :)