Remember New York In The Winter

I was looking through photos of New York, albums compiled by Zal, Hsinj etc., that we shared with one another when the trip ended. I remember we did it at Coffee Bean in Holland Village one night, I think it was a few days after returning to Sg.

At the end of my own album, I found this little write-up I did on the 28th of December :

"People ask me how was New York? And I feel compelled to summarise the entire BSM experience into one word. But how is it possible to put together Guggenheim Russian exhibitions, clattering subway rides, streets full of shops, hot dogs with sauerkraut, the thick New York accents, flashing lights of Times Square, together into one adjective?"

I'm getting nostalgic. My heart is beating hard in my chest.

I miss them all.



Some days, it seems it is just so hard to reach you. It seems everything is in my way. How is it possible for me not to feel anguished? When I wait hours just to pour my heart out.

I was talking to a very dear friend of mine that day on MSN, and we were just agreeing with each other how emo we were. One thing that was refreshing to me was, he told me he liked living that way. Well, I have for the longest time struggled with how I didn't want to live like this. Going on a huge emotional rollercoaster. But I guess I have to stop and question myself, if that is truly the way I am. And how if that is how I am, I should simply accept it. Because I know for sure there is no stopping my emotions. I can handle them differently, yes, but there's no way I can stop them from happening.

Excuse me while I feel reflective.

All these unanswered phone calls.