Leaving a bad taste behind.
Wow.
Few issues get my heart pounding with indignation as this. And it was Xiaxue's blog that incensed it. The latest post just totally, totally blew my mind. Read it. I tell you, it's a piece of work.
In it, she suggested that Fillipino rape victim "Nicole" - having been 'pissed drunk' - was asking for it. Not only does dirty dancing and flirtation while intoxicated imply that you are certainly willing to have sex with a man, she says, but having such a handsome/hot/sexy guy rape you certainly justifies the crime. At the same time, once you cause a man to get 'erected' you're suggesting sex is to follow. (see below)
"Logically, if you agree to kissing, dirty dancing, then you should be mostly agreeable to going all the way. If you don't want to, make it clear from the start, and don't make him erected and test his willpower."
Xiaxue also implies that rapists can be confused regarding consensus to sex, given that Japanese porn regularly exhibits lots of girls who play hard-to-get (so guys obviously can't tell the difference between playing hard-to-get and saying no, even when the girl is, in actual fact, saying "no" - a lot of times. Firmly. In a scream.)
I mean, look, if the girl was indeed raped, I agree the girl has paid a very very valuable price for learning not to get so damn pissed drunk you don't know what happens to you. Controlling your own alcohol consumption and being consciously aware of your limit is so important - and when you don't, you have to suffer the consequences. And she has. See, she has years of emotional and psychological trauma to deal with from here on.
One huge fallacy here, though.
Flirting with a guy and dirty dancing with him (assuming this happened) may make you more susceptible to the risk of rape, but it does not mean you ask for it.
Walking on the streets late at night increases your susceptibility to murder/robbery/rape, but that alone does not mean you are asking for it, or deserve it.
Using Xiaxue's argument structure, anybody who dies/gets into a car accident/gets robbed essentially deserves it, because we all have some responsibility in conducting actions that lead us to being in the position we are in, during the occurrence of the crime.
But that in no way means the victim asked for it, or deserved it.
What really takes the cake is that many people agree with her point of view. Some people lament that the poor rapist - all of twenty-one - should not be given life sentence; others say the girl totally deserves it because she got drunk. ("Where was her sister anyway? How could she let herself be unprotected and alone and land herself in that situation") Yet others say just because she is Fillipino and Fillipinos have a filthy reputation, she was probably lying. Or better yet, some say she was horny and drunk, but wasn't satisfied with the sex, hence the accusation of rape.
Speculation is fine, ladies and gentlemen, but senseless and fallacious speculation - on this topic in particular - just makes my blood fucking boil.
A large point of frustration for me is that many people say rape is both the fault of the rapee and the rapist in this case. But that is going against the definition of rape : a rapist has sexual intercourse with the rapee without his/her consent. Any violation against someone's will in the sexual context should be considered some degree of sexual abuse. By going against the rapee's will, the rapist is the one who is at fault.
The crime lies in the act itself.
How they both got there - be it because they were dirty dancing beforehand, making out, just sipping tea, total strangers walking on the same deserted street - should not alter this at all.
The biggest irony?
Xiaxue won't mind getting raped by say, Josh Hartnett, but rape is all about having sex against the rapee's will - not that Xiaxue seems to understand that, poor girl - and since she is therefore a 'willing victim', I don't think she'll get her pretty pink wish.
All this ignorance is so disappointing.
So many things I wish to say, but I won't.
I have to make a special request here - if you do not agree with me, please don't post it on my tagboard, or I'm not sure I can honestly look at you the same way again after hearing what you have to say. In this issue, I am very firm regarding my views, given how personal this is, and I know you will all understand.
Few issues get my heart pounding with indignation as this. And it was Xiaxue's blog that incensed it. The latest post just totally, totally blew my mind. Read it. I tell you, it's a piece of work.
In it, she suggested that Fillipino rape victim "Nicole" - having been 'pissed drunk' - was asking for it. Not only does dirty dancing and flirtation while intoxicated imply that you are certainly willing to have sex with a man, she says, but having such a handsome/hot/sexy guy rape you certainly justifies the crime. At the same time, once you cause a man to get 'erected' you're suggesting sex is to follow. (see below)
"Logically, if you agree to kissing, dirty dancing, then you should be mostly agreeable to going all the way. If you don't want to, make it clear from the start, and don't make him erected and test his willpower."
Xiaxue also implies that rapists can be confused regarding consensus to sex, given that Japanese porn regularly exhibits lots of girls who play hard-to-get (so guys obviously can't tell the difference between playing hard-to-get and saying no, even when the girl is, in actual fact, saying "no" - a lot of times. Firmly. In a scream.)
I mean, look, if the girl was indeed raped, I agree the girl has paid a very very valuable price for learning not to get so damn pissed drunk you don't know what happens to you. Controlling your own alcohol consumption and being consciously aware of your limit is so important - and when you don't, you have to suffer the consequences. And she has. See, she has years of emotional and psychological trauma to deal with from here on.
One huge fallacy here, though.
Flirting with a guy and dirty dancing with him (assuming this happened) may make you more susceptible to the risk of rape, but it does not mean you ask for it.
Walking on the streets late at night increases your susceptibility to murder/robbery/rape, but that alone does not mean you are asking for it, or deserve it.
Using Xiaxue's argument structure, anybody who dies/gets into a car accident/gets robbed essentially deserves it, because we all have some responsibility in conducting actions that lead us to being in the position we are in, during the occurrence of the crime.
But that in no way means the victim asked for it, or deserved it.
What really takes the cake is that many people agree with her point of view. Some people lament that the poor rapist - all of twenty-one - should not be given life sentence; others say the girl totally deserves it because she got drunk. ("Where was her sister anyway? How could she let herself be unprotected and alone and land herself in that situation") Yet others say just because she is Fillipino and Fillipinos have a filthy reputation, she was probably lying. Or better yet, some say she was horny and drunk, but wasn't satisfied with the sex, hence the accusation of rape.
Speculation is fine, ladies and gentlemen, but senseless and fallacious speculation - on this topic in particular - just makes my blood fucking boil.
A large point of frustration for me is that many people say rape is both the fault of the rapee and the rapist in this case. But that is going against the definition of rape : a rapist has sexual intercourse with the rapee without his/her consent. Any violation against someone's will in the sexual context should be considered some degree of sexual abuse. By going against the rapee's will, the rapist is the one who is at fault.
The crime lies in the act itself.
How they both got there - be it because they were dirty dancing beforehand, making out, just sipping tea, total strangers walking on the same deserted street - should not alter this at all.
The biggest irony?
Xiaxue won't mind getting raped by say, Josh Hartnett, but rape is all about having sex against the rapee's will - not that Xiaxue seems to understand that, poor girl - and since she is therefore a 'willing victim', I don't think she'll get her pretty pink wish.
All this ignorance is so disappointing.
So many things I wish to say, but I won't.
I have to make a special request here - if you do not agree with me, please don't post it on my tagboard, or I'm not sure I can honestly look at you the same way again after hearing what you have to say. In this issue, I am very firm regarding my views, given how personal this is, and I know you will all understand.
posted by the zee at 10:27 AM
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