Song IX, WH Auden

As I grapple with the finality of the situation, and the shock and hurt that comes with it, I must still trudge on with school and family and friends. Life goes on, albeit with that horrific ache that doesn't seem to go away.

I don't need pity, I don't need "you will get over it soon", or "you'll find someone better"; I just need companionship and understanding. To just be there and hold my hand, when it feels as if the pain is so great I cannot breathe.

I am trying to get by, hour by hour. Not day by day - yet. Then it'll be week by week. I wish to pretend he doesn't mean anything to me, but the truth is, he meant everything. But I accept his decision, and I will respect it as much as I can.

So these few days, if you see me walking by, and I don't say hi or give you a warm smile, please understand that it's not that I am being unfriendly, but I just don't wish to pretend I'm okay when I am veryvery not. I mean, I try to hold it together, but sadly that holding-up thingie just ain't foolproof.

Yes, friends will defend your silver lining, but there is nothing to ride out the pain. No quickfix, or painkiller here, for the heart.
Nothing at all, really, except to wait.